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Rule #12 - Don't be afraid to admit you could be wrong Rules for Embracing Life in the 21st Century
The futurist could be wrong. Sometimes he admitted it.

And so we come to the last Rule. The one that made me look back at Rules #1 through #11 and wonder. Could I be wrong? Maybe I misinterpreted what he was thinking. After all, as well as we know our nearest and dearest, there are always nooks and crannies we never notice. All through our forty-one years together, we were telling each other something new. To the end, we were telling each other the story of our lives. We began sharing our mistakes long before our wedding.

So, I don't think that's why it's #12. Ivan really didn't like being wrong. But as a geographer and a futurist, he knew being wrong was inevitable. New information corrects old assumptions.

His last rule tells us to follow the old sewing advice: measure twice and cut once.

There are three little words that written, spoken, shared would change our world for the better.

Ah ha, you are thinking, we don't say "I love you" enough. What the world needs now is love sweet love. And so it does.

The world changing words are simple.

I. Was. Wrong.

Admitting we messed up is the beginning of understanding. Saying I was wrong out loud makes it more real. Even if you say it while all alone.

That we can admit being wrong is a good thing. Needing to be right all the time is exhausting. It's also not healthy.

"Always being right is an irrational way of thinking characterised by a person's need to always prove themselves right, often by proving others' actions or opinions wrong. People with this unrealistic mindset, known as a cognitive distortion, cannot accept that they can make mistakes or that they can be wrong. They will do everything in their power to show others that they are correct...

Contradictorily, another category of always being right are the people whose egos and self-esteem are fragile. These are people who have an innate need to prove themselves or to prove that they are superior or better than other people because they don't feel confident in themselves. Always being right provides people with an illusion of being in control, of having the upper hand.

Fear or insecurities can also influence a person's need to always be right. Usually this is fear of failure, so these people will frequently avoid owning up to their mistakes for fear of repercussions. Insecurities lead to the fear that other people won't want to associate with them if they cannot appear to be right. This type of insecurity is often something that is ingrained in a person as a child through dysfunctional or abusive family dynamics..."

https://cpdonline.co.uk/knowledge-base/mental-health/always-being-right/

A statue in my hometown of Barbourville Kentucky honoring one of Kentucky's heroes illustrates how one can almost admit to being wrong. Daniel Boone was an explorer who was never lost (or at least never admitted to it). "I can't say as ever I was lost but I was bewildered once for three days."

Ivan Potter was never lost even though we wandered through Clarksville Tennessee for over an hour a few years ago following his instincts on how to get back to the interstate. Geographers, he would say, are never lost, just exploring.

So, be not afraid! Admitting you may be wrong is an admission that we know ourselves well enough and are comfortable enough in our skins to admit that we aren't perfect.

In science, admitting one is on the wrong track leads to breakthroughs. Scientist test and test and get it "wrong" until they get it right. Results aren't the right ones. More needs to be done. Test. Test. Test until the answer to the question is found.

Thomas Edison tried thousands of different filaments before he found the right one. He finally succeeded in 1879The great inventor said of his efforts. "I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work."

Edison recognized that admitting one could be wrong and finding a way to get it right was hard work. "Genius is one percent inspiration and ninety-nine percent perspiration. Great accomplishments depend not so much on ingenuity as on hard work."

Those we recognize as experts get things wrong. Meteorologists get blamed for unexpected weather. We depend so much on their predictions, we hold them responsible for rained out picnics, snowstorms, power outages. We ignore the fact that while they forecast weather, they don't control it.

The divided nature of the American polity lends itself to a reluctance, an absolute abhorrence, to admit being wrong. The left refuses to recognize that the Republican nominee has ever done anything right. The right refuses to admit that same candidate has ever done anything wrong.

It is easy to predict that neither side will blink. Because in today's world, blinking is perceived as weakness.

It's not being wrong that is Ivan's point, it's admitting it. That's the hard part.

Everyone everywhere is wrong sometimes. There are no exceptions.

If there is a wrong, then a course correction and a sincere apology are in order.

Admitting we are wrong could save a friendship, a marriage, a nation, a world.

Ivan's Rules for Embracing Life in the 21st Century while going through the many pieces of paper he left behind. I was his editor, correcting his grammar, his creatively spelled words and his bureaucratic run on sentences. He didn't share these twelve rules with me so I am not sure when he wrote them or even what prompted him to write them. The rules have made me stop and think. They have pushed me to write again and to share thoughts on each rule and what I think it meant to him. And what it means to me.


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